Sunday I played my soccer game with a migraine that was steady in its growth, until post-game when all hell broke loose upstairs. Driving was a pain in the ass but I made it home in time to truly "die" in the comfort of my own bed with the air conditioning on and the cat by my side. She always knows when I'm sick, it's true. It didn't take me long to get the trash can and throw up. Sleep was crazy. Lots of dreams and turning. Heavy-cold washrag on my head for the duration, left side of my head(where the pain was) pressed up against a pillow. Pressure feels good, usually. This time it felt good but it also made me extremely nauseous. Plus that thing happens where I lay too long on that side and my left ear starts to hurt.
The pain was there when I woke up for work so I had to call off. I needed the day off for the writing retreat at the end of the month but there was no way I could get to work in that condition. I slept again after half a cookie and a melatonin. I slept until 1-something in the afternoon. This is about when I started to feel better, at least well enough to walk around again. 3 to 4 hours after first waking I was able to make pasta for breakfast/lunch/dinner. I still feel pretty gnarly so I took another melatonin and I'm going to go to bed. I hope will all my might that this is gone tomorrow. I can't miss anymore work.
I didn't have to deal that much with feeling isolated this time--I wouldn't let myself. I worked on turning my mind whenever I thought about being alone through all of it. When I felt sad today(which was often), I just reminded myself that the sadness is fallout from the pain and that it too will pass. That it isn't really that real or justified. I remind myself of reality.
I look around and wish I could clean up the apartment or do some writing but I know recovery is most important right now. I know that these things will get done and it will be okay.
