I lost yesterday(Monday) to a migraine. It was a 2-dayer--Sunday and Monday, sunrise to darkness. On Sunday I played a soccer game and felt like half a brain and half a body. My head felt anvil-ish and when I look back the entire thing seems backlit by direct sunlight, so bright I can't even look at it.
Yesterday I talked with Jon at some point but don't really remember it. Around 5pm I felt completely worthless. Your body gets exhausted from tensing up against the pain, and then there is the pain itself. I managed one meal in late afternoon.
Jon said that talking to me was like talking to half a person, to someone not me. Today he said he was glad to have me back. Where do I go when the pain is too much? It's not on a map. It's not mine, that place. I can't lead you to it, and I can't access it without that unreal pain sitting shotgun, my key to this land of nowhere.
Today I felt much better, though I caught some words stuttering. I am so slow on that first day back. I tried to make a fist before even leaving bed. The cat knew--she stayed by my side. Today my appetite is back and I worked out. Tomorrow will be even better I'm sure.
My migraines have dropped in frequency--or at least they seem to be. I adhere to a fairly strict schedule--I'm in bed by 11pm on weeknights and almost never out by 2am on weekends. I'll have a drink here or there but that's it. Working out every day, cutting down on stress and stressful situations. Different things work for different people. Right now it's getting plenty of sleep and working up a good sweat. I'll stick to it.
Next: getting off my anti-depressants. I have a game plan, and I hope to be off of them completely by this fall.
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