I lost yesterday(Monday) to a migraine. It was a 2-dayer--Sunday and Monday, sunrise to darkness. On Sunday I played a soccer game and felt like half a brain and half a body. My head felt anvil-ish and when I look back the entire thing seems backlit by direct sunlight, so bright I can't even look at it.
Yesterday I talked with Jon at some point but don't really remember it. Around 5pm I felt completely worthless. Your body gets exhausted from tensing up against the pain, and then there is the pain itself. I managed one meal in late afternoon.
Jon said that talking to me was like talking to half a person, to someone not me. Today he said he was glad to have me back. Where do I go when the pain is too much? It's not on a map. It's not mine, that place. I can't lead you to it, and I can't access it without that unreal pain sitting shotgun, my key to this land of nowhere.
Today I felt much better, though I caught some words stuttering. I am so slow on that first day back. I tried to make a fist before even leaving bed. The cat knew--she stayed by my side. Today my appetite is back and I worked out. Tomorrow will be even better I'm sure.
My migraines have dropped in frequency--or at least they seem to be. I adhere to a fairly strict schedule--I'm in bed by 11pm on weeknights and almost never out by 2am on weekends. I'll have a drink here or there but that's it. Working out every day, cutting down on stress and stressful situations. Different things work for different people. Right now it's getting plenty of sleep and working up a good sweat. I'll stick to it.
Next: getting off my anti-depressants. I have a game plan, and I hope to be off of them completely by this fall.
Showing posts with label attack. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attack. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Thursday, December 12, 2013
connection between migraine and skin temps
This makes sense. I have terrible circulation and my exremities are always made of ice:
The Connection Between Migraines and Skin Temperature
Migraine sufferers have colder noses and hands than people without migraines, possibly due to underlying blood vessel abnormalities, says a study published online in Autonomic Neuroscience. Migraine headaches are considered a risk factor for cardiovascular diseases and stroke, but few studies have examined skin-temperature changes as a marker of vascular health, researchers said.
The study compared skin temperature in the face and hands of 41 Finnish women, 12 with migraines and 29 without headaches. A family history of migraine headaches was reported by 85% of migraine subjects and 31% of controls.
Half of the migraine subjects had headaches only on the right side and five had migraines accompanied by visual disturbances called aura. A digital infrared camera was used to measure skin temperature on the nose, cheeks, forehead, hands and fingertips in migraine subjects during a headache-free period, and in controls. The results were compared.
The average temperature of the nose and hands was about 3.6-degrees Fahrenheit lower in migraine subjects than controls. Of the migraine patients, 58% had skin temperatures below 86 degrees Fahrenheit, which is considered a normal skin temperature, in both the nose and fingers.
By comparison, the nose and finger temperatures were below 86 Fahrenheit in 31% and 40% of controls respectively.
The rest of the article can be read here: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303497804579242423379994080
The Connection Between Migraines and Skin Temperature
Migraine sufferers have colder noses and hands than people without migraines, possibly due to underlying blood vessel abnormalities, says a study published online in Autonomic Neuroscience. Migraine headaches are considered a risk factor for cardiovascular diseases and stroke, but few studies have examined skin-temperature changes as a marker of vascular health, researchers said.
The study compared skin temperature in the face and hands of 41 Finnish women, 12 with migraines and 29 without headaches. A family history of migraine headaches was reported by 85% of migraine subjects and 31% of controls.
Half of the migraine subjects had headaches only on the right side and five had migraines accompanied by visual disturbances called aura. A digital infrared camera was used to measure skin temperature on the nose, cheeks, forehead, hands and fingertips in migraine subjects during a headache-free period, and in controls. The results were compared.
The average temperature of the nose and hands was about 3.6-degrees Fahrenheit lower in migraine subjects than controls. Of the migraine patients, 58% had skin temperatures below 86 degrees Fahrenheit, which is considered a normal skin temperature, in both the nose and fingers.
By comparison, the nose and finger temperatures were below 86 Fahrenheit in 31% and 40% of controls respectively.
The rest of the article can be read here: http://online.wsj.com/news/articles/SB10001424052702303497804579242423379994080
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
long time, no post
I haven't updated this blog in a while. I wish I could say it's because I haven't had any migraines but that isn't true. The past few months I've been hit hard with head pain in tandem with my cycle--it starts a few days before my period starts(a few days before that I start feeling very depressed/achy/anxious...it took me a surprisingly long time to connect all of the dots on this one). The migraine will flicker on and off for a week from its start date. Last month and this month were both giant pains in the ass(and head). I end up bedridden with the spins and superstrong nausea, sensitivity to light and smells.
I struggle at times to explain what it feels like to have a hyper-sensitivity to the elements when I have a migraine. It truly does feel like the world is designed to be out to get you. Yesterday I left work early with the migraine rearing its head again, and on the bus a woman sat down next to me who had perfume on that instantly upped my head pain to a 9 or 10. Or even waiting at the bus, when it seems like every other person is a smoker and the wind is blowing it right in my face. Smells of food cooking or exhaust seem to pull the vomit right from my stomach. The world becomes overwhelming. I just want to run and hide.
Today I am feeling more and more like myself. It is ridiculous--the difference in me when in pain vs. when I'm not in pain. Everything is so much more complicated under the influence of pain. I need to wash my hair and clean my apartment AND prepare for two shows this weekend--I'm trying not to overwhelm myself by tackling it all tonight, but I do worry that I may not have another chance(what if the migraine comes back tomorrow night, for example? I hate to think these things, but have to).
My diet: I have strayed from how strict I was in past months in regards to my intake. I still avoid fermented foods and MSG when possible. The soda habit is STILL kicked, which is awesome--I've lost probably 5 to 7 pounds from abstaining from that alone. I've been lapsing on my smoothie game but hope to get back to it asap.
Supplements: Every day I take: Vitamin C, Vitamin D(especially now that it's winter), BComplex, Butterbur, Magnesium/Calcium. I am still a firm believer in this combination cutting down on the frequency and severity of my attacks.
I've had less attacks in the past 6 months, but the attacks are more intense in their own ways. Perhaps because I have less of them? Maybe because they seem to circle around my hormonal monthly rollercoaster? Maybe. It is still the pain I hate most in my life more than anything.
More soon.
I struggle at times to explain what it feels like to have a hyper-sensitivity to the elements when I have a migraine. It truly does feel like the world is designed to be out to get you. Yesterday I left work early with the migraine rearing its head again, and on the bus a woman sat down next to me who had perfume on that instantly upped my head pain to a 9 or 10. Or even waiting at the bus, when it seems like every other person is a smoker and the wind is blowing it right in my face. Smells of food cooking or exhaust seem to pull the vomit right from my stomach. The world becomes overwhelming. I just want to run and hide.
Today I am feeling more and more like myself. It is ridiculous--the difference in me when in pain vs. when I'm not in pain. Everything is so much more complicated under the influence of pain. I need to wash my hair and clean my apartment AND prepare for two shows this weekend--I'm trying not to overwhelm myself by tackling it all tonight, but I do worry that I may not have another chance(what if the migraine comes back tomorrow night, for example? I hate to think these things, but have to).
My diet: I have strayed from how strict I was in past months in regards to my intake. I still avoid fermented foods and MSG when possible. The soda habit is STILL kicked, which is awesome--I've lost probably 5 to 7 pounds from abstaining from that alone. I've been lapsing on my smoothie game but hope to get back to it asap.
Supplements: Every day I take: Vitamin C, Vitamin D(especially now that it's winter), BComplex, Butterbur, Magnesium/Calcium. I am still a firm believer in this combination cutting down on the frequency and severity of my attacks.
I've had less attacks in the past 6 months, but the attacks are more intense in their own ways. Perhaps because I have less of them? Maybe because they seem to circle around my hormonal monthly rollercoaster? Maybe. It is still the pain I hate most in my life more than anything.
More soon.
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
a 2 day doozy
I don't really want to write about this, since I'm still recovering and memories are fresh...but if I don't I'm afraid details/feelings/things will be lost to time/that thing my mind does with migraines where it doesn't really want to remember the gorey things. Anyway, here goes.
Saturday I had a late night and Sunday I woke up feeling less than stellar. I had a reading on Sunday at 2:20, figuring it was plenty of recovery time. I hydrated, and then met up with two writer friends at a coffee shop down the street to get my caffeine intake.
I felt fine for about an hour, and then the world started tilting. In the car, I managed to hold off puking until we were on the North Side. I stumbled out of the car in some church parking lot, kneeled down, and puked my guts out. With my sunglasses still on--a detail that is silly but one I will always remember I think. I got back into the car, shaking and wiping my mouth with napkins.
Once we were at the reading I sat on the curb and could only stand it for 20 minutes before I flagged my ride over and asked him to take me home. I stretched across his backseat for the duration and once at my apartment, died. At least that's how it felt/reads back to me in retrospect. I stripped off my clothes, made a bed on the couch, brought the trash can in lined with a new plastic bag, and died.
What that death really meant was: throwing up everything I ingested. Including water and medicine and vitamins. I don't know when I'll be able to forget the awful bitter taste of a vitamin coming back up only partially-digested. I threw up from the couch. In the bathroom. On my knees in the hallway. On my knees in the kitchen, in the dining room. Out of my nose. I threw up while my neighbor's television blared some violent movie. I threw up so hard that I thought I busted something. If the nausea came but didn't fully trigger puking I could just roll my eyes up and apply slight pressure to my temple with fingertips. Them boom--instant vomiting. The migraine switched--the first day(Sunday) it was on the left side of my head. The second day(Monday) it was on my right. For two days I did nothing but hydrate, puke, take melatonin, puke, sleep, puke, and listen to the audio of old Family Ties reruns on my Netflix. I was in pain, plenty of it. The only thing that made me feel better was to bounce or move one leg over and over again.
Dylan brought me soup and crackers in the middle of the day on Monday, which saved my ass. I couldn't stand upright let alone cook anything, and I had already tried to eat/threw up bland ramen noodles earlier. He stayed for a minute, then I was on my own again. Some of the soup stayed down. Some of it came back up. I crawled from living room to bedroom to bathroom trying to get comfortable. I pleaded with my hazy reflection in the toilet. I prayed, which is something I've sincerely done now only 3 times in my life. I prayed. That's how much I hurt. I prayed for the pain to go, or for my life to end. Something, anything, relief of some kind. This attack drove me to a kind of delirium I haven't experienced since going the supplement route. I forgot how ugly they can be, these migraine attacks.
Today it took all my strength to get to work. I made it in by 11am, 3 hours past my start time but at least I made it. It was a miracle to be upright, even though my hands shook so badly on the bus while I drank my vitamin water that I could tell people across from me were staring. I wore my sunglasses until I absolutely had to take them off. I nursed a bowl of chicken noodle soup for 2 hours, and even then only ate half of it. I'm taking it 5 minutes at a time, and with each of those segments I feel stronger and stronger. I can't make a fist, I'm still dizzy and I don't feel so solid on my feet. But at least I'm upright.
The pain was insane. I don't have words, descriptions for it. The squeezing, the blaring, the feeling of being on fire. As many of my previous bad ones, I thought this was the big one. The final something-something to take me out. Yesterday I considered the hospital but fought to stay writhing on that couch instead.
Today I am left with the feeling of a deep deep sadness--the kind that only comes after a bad migraine, the kind that is chemical-fueled and that I can't do much about. I feel completely misunderstood, alone, scared, and very very small. I feel like I'm out of touch with the world...that I went to hell these past few days and I'm not quite completely back yet. Hopefully in another day or two I will return. Til then, I just hold on. 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. Holding on.
Saturday I had a late night and Sunday I woke up feeling less than stellar. I had a reading on Sunday at 2:20, figuring it was plenty of recovery time. I hydrated, and then met up with two writer friends at a coffee shop down the street to get my caffeine intake.
I felt fine for about an hour, and then the world started tilting. In the car, I managed to hold off puking until we were on the North Side. I stumbled out of the car in some church parking lot, kneeled down, and puked my guts out. With my sunglasses still on--a detail that is silly but one I will always remember I think. I got back into the car, shaking and wiping my mouth with napkins.
Once we were at the reading I sat on the curb and could only stand it for 20 minutes before I flagged my ride over and asked him to take me home. I stretched across his backseat for the duration and once at my apartment, died. At least that's how it felt/reads back to me in retrospect. I stripped off my clothes, made a bed on the couch, brought the trash can in lined with a new plastic bag, and died.
What that death really meant was: throwing up everything I ingested. Including water and medicine and vitamins. I don't know when I'll be able to forget the awful bitter taste of a vitamin coming back up only partially-digested. I threw up from the couch. In the bathroom. On my knees in the hallway. On my knees in the kitchen, in the dining room. Out of my nose. I threw up while my neighbor's television blared some violent movie. I threw up so hard that I thought I busted something. If the nausea came but didn't fully trigger puking I could just roll my eyes up and apply slight pressure to my temple with fingertips. Them boom--instant vomiting. The migraine switched--the first day(Sunday) it was on the left side of my head. The second day(Monday) it was on my right. For two days I did nothing but hydrate, puke, take melatonin, puke, sleep, puke, and listen to the audio of old Family Ties reruns on my Netflix. I was in pain, plenty of it. The only thing that made me feel better was to bounce or move one leg over and over again.
Dylan brought me soup and crackers in the middle of the day on Monday, which saved my ass. I couldn't stand upright let alone cook anything, and I had already tried to eat/threw up bland ramen noodles earlier. He stayed for a minute, then I was on my own again. Some of the soup stayed down. Some of it came back up. I crawled from living room to bedroom to bathroom trying to get comfortable. I pleaded with my hazy reflection in the toilet. I prayed, which is something I've sincerely done now only 3 times in my life. I prayed. That's how much I hurt. I prayed for the pain to go, or for my life to end. Something, anything, relief of some kind. This attack drove me to a kind of delirium I haven't experienced since going the supplement route. I forgot how ugly they can be, these migraine attacks.
Today it took all my strength to get to work. I made it in by 11am, 3 hours past my start time but at least I made it. It was a miracle to be upright, even though my hands shook so badly on the bus while I drank my vitamin water that I could tell people across from me were staring. I wore my sunglasses until I absolutely had to take them off. I nursed a bowl of chicken noodle soup for 2 hours, and even then only ate half of it. I'm taking it 5 minutes at a time, and with each of those segments I feel stronger and stronger. I can't make a fist, I'm still dizzy and I don't feel so solid on my feet. But at least I'm upright.
The pain was insane. I don't have words, descriptions for it. The squeezing, the blaring, the feeling of being on fire. As many of my previous bad ones, I thought this was the big one. The final something-something to take me out. Yesterday I considered the hospital but fought to stay writhing on that couch instead.
Today I am left with the feeling of a deep deep sadness--the kind that only comes after a bad migraine, the kind that is chemical-fueled and that I can't do much about. I feel completely misunderstood, alone, scared, and very very small. I feel like I'm out of touch with the world...that I went to hell these past few days and I'm not quite completely back yet. Hopefully in another day or two I will return. Til then, I just hold on. 5 minutes here, 5 minutes there. Holding on.
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